Understand the foundational ideas that anchor and guide Four Fires
The all-night bonfires and harvest feasting our ancestors enjoyed at each turning of the season has somehow been reduced to Easter bunnies, pumpkin spice everything, and Black Friday door busters.
Four Fires is grounded in recognizing the old quaternal cycles of changing seasons, traditional religious feast days, and rich symbolism so familiar to ancient humanity.
Four Fires restores for you and your friends a simple social ritual that has been lost.
Bonfires were originally known as “bone fires” and have been a central and unifying feature in communal celebrations marking important feast days and agricultural cycles from the earliest times.
Everyone loves the warmth and communal mystery a good outdoor fire provides, but like so many things, we have relegated it to the tame confines of our limited modern imagination.
“Propane and propane accessories”, as Hank Hill would say.
Build a real fire. Build a real community.
Bones optional.
The bulk of any Four Fires evening is all about feasting, fun, and frank conversation.
But, there’s a serious ritual component toward the end of the evening called the Comitatus.
After you’ve visited a group a couple times, you’ll need to do something everybody else in the group has already done—namely, stand up and admit to that one unflattering truth about yourself.
News flash: We’ve all got unflattering personal truths.
Sure. It ain’t exactly easy, but it’s not as bad as it sounds either.
It’s a simple but powerful way to build trust.
We call it the “Small Door to the Great Hall” because this small act of personal humility is necessary for enjoying a real community based in honesty & mutual respect.
Four Fires is not a cult.
Sure, we have initiation rites, ceremonial weapons, and we celebrate ancient seasonal feast days around big bonfires, but you’ll quickly realize we’re not a cult.
Cults keep you locked in.
Cults lead you away from your other communities.
Cults have cult leaders.
Cults are in it for themselves.
Cults need your money.
Four Fires is none of those things.
If you like the Four Fires idea, you start a group of your own and help us achieve our goal of starting 1000 local chapters.
Very unlike a cult however, if you get tired of Four Fires, you don’t need to sneak away in the night.
You simply stop attending, go rogue, and start your own rival group called “The Happy Pineapple Tribe” or something. Whatever you want.
Just be sure to send us an invite!
A genuine Four Fires event is defined by the following, common elements. Without these, you’re enjoying poker night or a marshmallow roast. We’re big fans of all that, but Four Fires is something different.
See our Getting Started section and FAQ page to learn more about these key concepts.
Could you set up a Four Fires group for families or maybe a youth group of some sort?
You could try.
We won’t stop you.
The focus and mission of Four Fires, though, is all about adult men who are trying to grow personally and be effective leaders in their households and communities.
This requires focus.
And, because an authentic Four Fires event involves a lot of personal transparency and frank conversation about sometimes challenging topics, mixed groups just don’t work.
We are definitely pro family.
But, we are not exactly what you’d call family friendly.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Hopefully your experience is different, but it seems like good old-fashioned hospitality has really suffered as a prioritized cultural practice in our modern world.
It has become too optional.
The irony, of course, is we all have more to share than ever before.
And, as I’m sure you’ve experienced, folks from less affluent cultures tend to be far better at opening up their homes and sharing a generous meal.
The ancient law of hospitality has been one of the most universal and longest-lasting moral principals throughout all of human history.
Four Fires takes a stand against the slow encroachment of selfish isolation and commercial replacements which keep us from opening up our homes and and serving our neighbors.
So, tidy up your house, your back patio, your garage, or whatever you’ve got to offer. Spend a little extra and serve your mates a hearty meal. Treat this like a divine act of service.
Help society return to this most vital and humanizing habit by starting a Four Fires group this year.
When was the last time you got to share your real thoughts on things and be taken seriously?
And, I mean in-person, where people could hear your voice and call you by your real name.
For better or for worse, we find ourselves living under an increasingly gloomy chill effect, where free & open conversation is artificially inhibited.
This collective suppression squelches free speech, which handicaps free thought, and seeks to achieve universal protection against the possibility of hearing ideas different than your own.
It’s easy to point fingers, but you see this enforced by all kinds of different groups and tribes just about everywhere.
Four Fires events always elevate space for free & frank round table conversation about challenging or taboo topics.
The concept is simple. You can say whatever you need to say as long as you are willing to stick around and hear what the rest of the group thinks of your, ahem, “interesting” idea.
What we call the “Comitatus” ceremony has been described elsewhere on this website. You can learn more about the practical aspects and download the script on our “Get Started” page.
Just above this section, you can read about “The Small door to the Great Hall”–the concept of humbling yourself first in order to participate in meaningful festivity.
The Comitatus is a rite of initiation that requires a bit of humility on your part in exchange for access to a community of mutual respect, support, and accountability.
At a Four Fires event, it happens around the bonfire. You stand and hold a ceremonial weapon and, for five minutes, you share that one less-than-flattering truth about yourself.
That’s it. The other guys, who have already done it, welcome you into the group and pledge their support.
Really?
Telling a killer joke is one of the major pillars the Four Fires philosophy?
Like other things we’re trying to restore, such as hospitality, seasonal feast days, and open conversation, our ability to laugh at ourselves deserves a little more priority than it gets these days.
So, yes, no Four Fires event officially ends without the telling of a full-on slapper of a joke.
And, boy, there have been some good ones!
Sorry. I can’t repeat ’em here.
Four Fires groups are engineered to promote maturity into vital & lasting communities. Be sure you understand these concepts before launching your own group.
Every Four Fires group relies on somebody taking responsibility for the practical stuff–invites, location, arranging for the food, and guiding the conversation.
Delegation is often a good idea here, but somebody’s gotta step up and make it happen.
We call this group leader “Chief”, but the role is all about being a servant.
Maybe that’s you. I sure hope it is.
We’re going to help you by giving (as in free) you everything you need to launch and run a successful Four Fires group for the guys in your area.
As group leader, you don’t report up to anyone. You’re it! We’ll help you however we can.
If it’s not already clear, every local Four Fires group runs itself.
There isn’t any oversight or central administration really beyond this website and related communications.
We’re on a mission to recognize at least 1000 legitimate Four Fires groups by the year 2030, so it would help us if you dropped us a line and let us know you’ve started a group.
But, that’s it. You start your group and manage it yourself.
Aim for the middle here.
The ideal is to have 10-12 guys consistently at your event. Maybe 15 or 20 on the invite list.
Six guys is the right size for starting a group.
If your group is too small, say below 5 or 6 guys, it’s really just poker night.
If your group grows too far beyond 12, then it’s time to split up into friendly, rival tribes so you can keep growing while maintaining the ability to hold meaningful, round-table conversations.
Regarding growth, it’s not a contest. There are no quarterly quotas. In fact, you could easily jeapordize your group by inviting guys willy-nilly.
Avoid the temptation and be selective about your next recruit. Ask members to consider inviting only guys they think would really benefit from participating and have something to offer in return.
Word to the wise: grow slowly.
One of the pleasant surprises we encountered during our first year was something we hadn’t really included in the plan.
Between the quarterly meetings, guys were reaching out to each other and going out to lunch for one-on-one conversations.
They started forming new friendships that went beyond beer & football and having conversations about family, faith, and personal growth.
So, we formalized the practice and now encourage Four Fires members to try to schedule at least 2 or 3 one-on-one lunches with other guys in the group, working their way around the table.
What started as a nice-to-have is now seen as an essential and vital element of the Four Fires protocol.