Build an authentic community for men in your town

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Your community’s going to love you for it.

Here’s all the practical stuff you need to launch & manage a successful Four Fires group in your town.

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Group Leader Pro Tips

Before we get to the Four Fires Group Checklist, review these best practices and keep them in mind as you get started.

  • Be selective
    Recruit carefully. Our impulse in the modern world is to immediately optimize for vanity metrics. Bigger, better, faster, right? Four Fires is about quality, not quantity. So, be patient and don’t get anxious about growing your group too quickly. Grow it right, not fast.

  • Don’t get stale
    On the other hand, because Four Fires only grows by direct, personal invitations, you will need to maintain some emphasis on recruitment. Remind your Wise Guys (group participants) to think carefully about who in their network might be a good fit for the group.

  • Serious but not too serious!
    There’s a special kind of vanity out there (don’t ask me how I know) that tempts otherwise sane men to over-program everything.  Less is more.  Stick to a few fundamentals and just have a good time. “Jokes & smokes” is the rule here. Cook some meat. Have a drink.  Let it happen.  Don’t get me wrong, the serious stuff is key, but keep it to a minimum.  The deeper, personal conversations will definitely be happening, but that stuff is almost always better one-on-one.

Got a great pro tip for leading a group? Don’t keep it to yourself.

Getting Started Checklist

We try to keep it simple. There are only a few essential requirements for calling yourselves a legitimate Four Fires chapter and building an authentic and long-lasting community.

Contents


Some Wise Guys

We mean “Wise Guy” in both senses of the word.

These are the friends and fellows you invite to join your seasonal celebration. 5-6 is a good starting minimum. Less than that is just poker night. A maximum group size is around 10-12.

When you are consistently exceeding that number, congratulate yourselves and consider splitting off into two groups.


A Chief

Hey, that’s you!

These things don’t happen unless one person takes responsibility for finding a place, sending out invites, arranging for food, and ensuring the ceremony takes place correctly.  It falls to you to make sure new visitors understand the Comitatus “quit or commit” protocol for joining the group.

Rotate responsibilities and hand-off from year to year if you’d like. Or, reign in terror for perpetuity like the divinely appointed zip code king that you are. Your call.


A Location

Any place that can accommodate fire, food, and frank conversation will do. Private homes work great if the women and children can be somewhere else for the evening and the neighbors are sure not call the police about a new cult forming in their neighborhood.

Otherwise, head to the woods.


A Meal

Because we do it every day, it’s easy to take one of humanity’s most sacred rituals for granted.

A shared meal is the holy rite of our day-to-day communion with eachother and is fundamental to the practice of most religions.

Don’t skimp here. The turning of each season deserves a proper feast. Go big. Embrace abundance. Have pizza with the kids some other night.  Smoke some some brisket, ribs, or turkey instead.  Four Fires is a feast.

Cook whatever you want, of course. Our quarterly newsletter will advise on suggested menus appropriate to each seasonal celebration.


A Challenging Topic

One of the pillars of Four Fires, and frequently the thing participants like most, is the opportunity for frank conversation about challenging topics.

Four fires is designed to foster the open sharing of difficult or sensitive topics in pursuit of manly wisdom.

It doesn’t always have to be the Chieftan, but somebody needs to be tasked with leading a discussion concerning some item of practical wisdom or moral philosophy. Outside experts & guest moderators welcome, but keep it internal most of the time.

Reminder. This is a discussion, not a lecture. Your moderator simply needs to show up with a handful of leading questions that will get the group into meaningful discussion.

If you need some inspiration or would just like to align your group’s discussion topics with the wider Four Fires network, then subscribe to our quarterly email where we publish the theme and list of suggested questions for that quarter’s fire.


A Bonfire

For the central ritual of the evening – “the Comitatus” (see below), you’ll need to have a bonfire where the group can gather and participate in a brief ceremony of initiation.

Practical note: Some basic, additional lighting is helpful during reading of the The Four Fires Comitatus Script.  A few tiki torches do the trick nicely and add some atmosphere.


A Ceremonial Weapon

For this ceremony, you’ll need an actual weapon with deadly capability–ideally a spear with a point sharp enough to kill a man. But, any manual instrument meeting the requirement will do–axe, machete, tire iron. 

It should be decorated however suits your group, so it becomes more than just a brute instrument.


The Comitatus Ritual

No later than his third visit, a Wise Guy needs to quit or commit. New attendees need to be made aware of this requirement on their first visit.

To commit, a Wise Guy must pass through the Comitatus ritual. This boils down to simply standing before the group, holding the ceremonial spear, and disclosing for a maximum of 5 minutes what they perceive to be their own fatal flaw, chief struggle, or besetting weakness.

Nobody interrupts them during this five minutes. After the ritual is completed for that member, the group briefly welcomes their new member. Informal, follow-up questions or advice may be offered in response if time allows (often best to take these conversations offline).

Leaders need to ensure everyone has access to the The Four Fires Comitatus Script (PDF). Print out a few copies and make them available for reading.


A Life-Ending Joke

The role of jester is not to be overlooked in any serious community.

You’re probably already thinking about that one guy in your group who should take this on.

A Four Fires evening officially ends with a killer joke. Encourage the comedic talents in your group to bring their best jokes. Go for the jugular here. No rules. Only the best will do.

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